Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Sex in the City...

Twas World Aids’ Day yesterday….and this reminded me of a long forgotten topic for my blog….
This had hit me wen I was in Medicine (I’m done wid Surgery now…. *procrastination* huh!)….
Aids- we all know enuf and more bout it…..
Though there are many equally and even more distressing medical conditions, AIDS gets a special mention coz of the social stigma associated with it, in it being a sexually transmitted disease.

A lot has been said and done in making people realize that AIDS cannot be transmitted by mere touching or by droplets, yet there’s always an air of avoidance around people who are HIV +ve….. the Medical staff, in my college at least, doesn’t refuse treatment to the HIV+ves, but, yes, due to the extra precaution needed in dealing wid these patients (as also in HepB +ve cases), the patients prolly do feel like an outcast among the other patients….
But the purpose of this blogpost is not to reiterate the various psychological effects of AIDS….
Wat I want to speak bout is the FAMILY of the affected…
And being even more specific, the SPOUSE of the person concerned…..

Going by the trends in our hospital, (irrespective of world trends) malees seem to be affected with HIV more than women… at least…. Of the detected cases, males have been more than women.
And the most common mode of transmission suspected, and found is by Sexual Contact.

It’s so well established that our teachers have told us to suspect HIV infection as a prime cause if a driver/ hotel worker presents with symptoms similar to that of AIDS.
Same goes for a person working outside Kerala.
The logic is that these people are more prone to the exposure to the virus, prolly by intercourse with sex workers, since they are far from their own homes and women.
Prolly the stress of their work combined with the basic human needs leads them to relieve their stress thru illicit sexual acts and in turn leading them to their deathbed.

Even wen we come across women (or hear bout some patient’s case history) with the disease, it’s usually contracted from her husband. I, personally, have seen only one woman who HERSELF was into many sexual relations, was working as a laborer outside Kerala and had been infected with the virus. She was a widow in her late thirtys.

So, wat I mean is….most cases of HIV I have heard of are MEN with illicit sexual contacts.
For the patient himself, it’s definitely a pain. I don’t deny that.
Who doesn’t sin?
And don’t we know that a lot of boys have many ‘girlfriends’ (so to call) and have sex with each of them?
[on second thots, theabove statement appears mild.. prolly coz I am in Alpy.. had I been in some other “City”, I wud have had to use stronger words]
But, these people, our HIV+ves are unlucky enuf to fall to the wrong people at the wrong time.
So, surely… I wont say that they don’t deserve any em/sympathy from us.
But, the real victims, in my opinion, are the wives of these patients…..

Imagine being a wife, living alone, bringing up the kids, killing ur own sexual needs (*assumingly*), waiting for the husband to return from that big city where he’s working so that the family may have a slightly bigger income. And then you get the news that ur husband isn’t keeping well…. He comes home for a while, takes some medicines, feels somewhat better.. and in this visit home, prolly even has sex with you…..
And then he returns only to come back finally with a severely deteriorated condition….
And now u r upset… u rpraying for ur husband…….
And then he is detected wid HIV….

Wat shud u be thinking?????????
Shud u be thinking of his death? Wat wud u do after he dies?
When will he die?
How wil u bring up d kids alone?
And until he dies… he’ll be sick throughout… how wil u meet the expenses????
Or shud u think of ur own life???
Has he given the disease to u?
If u r found wid the disease, it’s over… there’s hell here and hell there…
If not,… well… one hell is good enuf to cause pain…..
If u r pregnant….does ur child have the disease…?
Can u abort the child?
Is the pregnancy past abortion?
Will the child be born wid the disease?
And of course…………….
Besides all these questions, besides all these bruises on ur heart.. there’s one bruise that, I believe, is the deepest….

The bruise of being cheated….
The bruise of coming to know that ur husband slept with another woman while u waited for him.
The bruise of knowing that all the misery in ur life now, and in the future owe their birth to the disloyalty of ur husband.

And to add to the pain is that being a woman, 9 times out of ten… u don’t walk out of the relation.. for the sake of ur children, for thesake of society, or whatever.. u hold on to that same man… and sit beside him as he lies motionless on the bed…. U serve him, clean his shit and feed him and bear all the load.. of a man… who cheated on you.

I wonder how many men wud do that to a woman…
I guess, that’s why women are special.
Sometimes, wen I think of all the pains of being a woman…. I feel it’s such a bullshit to say ‘women are special’ and blah blah…!!! Wat’s the point in saying all this crap??? It doesn’t change the ground reality… does it????

So, the woman stays behind…
You, the woman…. You stay behind with this mofo waiting for ur family to collapse.
How cool is that?

I, very personally, believe that this scar is as deep as a scar created by….rape..probably….

Imagine having a boyfriend.. and finding out that he went on a date or kissed or simple held another girl’s waist…. How wud u react???
Then imagine the same with ur husband???
Then imagine that this mofo of a husband went and happily slept wid another woman??? How wud u react???
Wudn all hell break loose??
Wudn u shout scream… threaten…. And …wel… wat not????/

And then imagine that the mofo got home a disease thru his adventurous pursuits in life……….
And then imagine not being able to show ur anger.. not being able to shout at him.. not being able to curse him for bringing u to this juncture…….
Coz’ the mofo’s pure heavenly soul is goin to depart from his body…. Leaving you wid a shattered heart, a shattered pride and no income.

I can only ask u to imagine…..
Imagine for urself.

P.S.- ya, I told that we need to em/sympathise wid the patient but well…..towards the end I got desp ….and so the “mofo”ism.

P.S.2-All HIV infections are not AIDS… AIDS is a term that actually means the last stage of the spectrum of the disease caused by HIV infection, however, usually, in layman terms.. AIDS and HIV infection are interchangeably used. I’m mentioning this to be on a ‘medically’ correct side.

Allah hafiz

Sunday, November 22, 2009

nothing much..

Its been a long long time since I wrote in Confrontation…. And I wonder how many of the very few posts that I have written in this blog begin with these very words…
Lots of things have happened in the past 1 and a half months… obviously!! The world doesn’t stop running coz I aint blogging!
So, well, a lot has happened

Sabse pehle toh I cleared my Third Prof Part A Alhamdulillah!
So now am officially in Final Year..
Hee hee hee :D :D :D
Seriously yaar, I was so hell scared bout my results….
It came on the day of the Beautiful Dream bout which am yet to write in Jalpari (the procrastinating me….huh!)… when I reached college that day, my unit mates told me that 6 people have failed… in the whole of Kerala University .. that means 4 colleges (?... am not sure ..?)usi mein I was like ‘gayi Almas’…. Fir we waited and waited and waited and wen we returning from clinics, I heard Puni (whatever her spelling is) from Ophthalm telling that she has received a message from someone saying that 9 in our batch hae failed totally.. that is 6 from 90th and 3 from the additionals…. But advait told her ki aisa kuchh nahi hai… uff!!!! Mera toh by the second tension badh raha tha…
Fir in the bus Anju Anna told me the names of the 6 boys who have flunked in our batch… I cudn believe that Puni was rite….
But khair!!! At least twasnt me!!!
:D :D :D :D

Aurrr kya hua..>>>>>>>>…
Haan finally after taking four cases, I got a case presentation by Dimple Cheeks…. And woh toh sahi scene raha .. has has ke lot pot ho gaye hum toh…\
Actually dekho present karne ke liye we don’t have any good cases , so, we take chumma cases.. anything that we can I presented an abdominal lump wid a stupid diagnosis… newaz.. since discussion ke liye zyada nahi tha.. sir asked us the procedure of doing the FNAC…. God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! kya tamasha raha woh toh…..especially Afzal ka toh aisa kheecha na ki kya bole!!!!
:D :D :D :D :D mazaa hi aa gaya!!!!

Then the news is that our Theatre is closed coz of the shifting and so no patients are being admitted into the wards.. kyuki surgery hi nahi karna toh admit karke kya?
And that’s why we don’t have cases.. ab we understand the pains of the Private Med Coll students…..bechaare.. khair ab toh hum bhi bechaare…

There was thing by the Govt. of Kerala jiske bare mein likhna ka time nahi hai.. par in a nutshell, it says that Doctors of Med coll cannot do PP .. they just got to teach in the Colls. And the next thing is that we have been officially turned into a Referral Unit.. matlab ki now if a patient comes to us wid a disease directly, we shud luk into the matter and then bhagao … coz u see… we r the gr8 referral centre now. Isliye we cannot admit cases that have not been REFERRED…. Ha ha ha!!!! Mazaa hi aa gaya ab toh….

Jo hota hai ache ke liye hi hota hai.
Aur kisi ke achhe ke liye nahi toh mere achhe ke liye toh hota hi hai.

Isi Referral Centre ke chakkar mein some Leftists made some tamasha in the Gynaec Op .... I wont write bout it.. coz its long … and coz .. well… I just don want to write… all I can say is that they chose the wrong person for it, they chose Lalitambika Ma’am…. And she is such a dedicated doctor…… whatever happened was very wrong… first of all that behaviour itself was shit.. but if it was hurled on to a doctor whom we know is a bad person, we wud have still felt ok,,.. but for Lambi???? God!! It’s so wrong! There are few people in the world who are as dedicated as her….and not just to patients, even to her students.. if there’s no one to take classes, she herself comes and takes classes for students….even though unka kaam nahi hai saaaaro ka bojh uthana.
Wat they did was very wrong…..

Khair…. Gotto go… aur haan. Medicine ka first sessional hua.. total bakwaas.. alhamdulillah.
Pehle I thot ki essay was right.. but wow! essay was also wrong!!!
Ab next tis surgery after 20 days.. GIT……
Its 6.20 am.. and Almas is hungry.. 1 more hour for breakfast :( :( :(
Allah hafiz

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Dimple Cheeks....

Dimple Cheeks took a grt class for us…. He asked us ki y do we think he behaved so horribly to us… dil me we thot ki ‘Because u like doin it’..
He asked, ‘Do u think I like behaving this way????’
Dil mein we thot ki, ‘Arrrreeyy dil ka baat bola’…
Then he told…. ‘it is just to make u realize ur standard…. That though u all are final years…. U guys no NOTHING.’ [dhanyawaad.. but when had we told ki we know ANYTHING????] u guys never tuk cases in 2nd year or fourth year….this is to show u where u stand today..’

Ok sir.. hum log ko malum pad gaya…

And then he went on and on and on and on..... actually, if u have read my previous blog posts in this very blog, u’d know that I hadn attended casualty…. And so I had never had the bhagya of attending Dimple Cheeks’ classes.. my friends like him a lot.. I mean, of course he is a super-scratcher.. but his classes are good…. Now, Almas didn’t know that.. but trust me, I really liked his class. We tuk a Verrucous Ulcer case.. the ulcer was in the perianal region… and Sir made us all inspect, palapte and blah blah in front of him.. which I think was really nice, as otherwise, there is no point in taking a case…

But the problem is that I get bored of classes wagairah very easily… so mid way, I wanted to run away.. but who toh rukne ka naam hi nahhi le rahe the…
Fir finally at 1.15 he told ki ok I have to go now…
Hum toh chain ka saans lee.. lekin then hi he told..
‘nothing much.. but I have to go to the ‘palli’’
I was like…. ‘palli?????????///’ [palli is church/mosque]
And since twas a Friday and it was time for Friday prayers.. I thot ki Dimple Cheeks pagal ho gaya hai kya?? Why does he want to go to the masjid?? Ya fir Christians also have some special prayers today?????

Newaz… later I came to know ki Dimple Cheeks is Muslim….
And seemingly, the whole world knows it….
I don’t know how….
Even during the examination of the patient, he showed us the patient’s penis and told ki it’s circumcised… (which I didn’t understand :/) and then he asked the patient if his ‘Sunnat Operation’ has been done.. and again I was like, ‘wow yaar! A Chrisian is asking it so nicely, Sunnat ka operation!!!’
Newaz.. so wen Sir went to the masjid, we ran to have our lunch… but there was only rice at Veg Palace.. I told Aish ki I wil go to Thaff and have my lunch….
Ha ha ha!!!
I had forgotten…
Thaff is a Muslim restaurant and so twas closed for the Friday Prayers....
Then I went to Aryas with a sad heart .. coz most prolly waha bhi the only thing I’d get wud be rice… lekin I was so happy :) I had one masala dosa and 2 chapatis (with the chamandi nad sambhar they give along wid the masala dosa)……

Lekin waha pe rice ko dekhkar laalach aa gaya… I don know why.. they had given so many ‘liquids’ with it.. rasam, sambhar, mor… and wat not.. a plate full of katoras with dferent ‘liquids’.. I think the next time I shall have chor from Aryas..
Then after my lunch, I returned… and sir came after another five minutes..
Then we continued with the clas..

He has given us impositions--- many many many…
Coz we cudn answer anything..
On the whole twas a gud clas….
Squamous cell carcinoma….

And now my unit mates have decided of goin to the casualty from Monday onwards wich I think is so sick. As if it wasn’t enuf that we were spending half of our lives in the hosp that we r now goin to spend our whole lives there..
Actually there is this Hospital Shifting which is ‘almost-happening-almost-not-happening’ and so all the cases will be referred to Kottayam…
There wont be any admissions.. and the Theatre is also being shut down from the 12th. It’s Monday na.. haan it’s Monday.. that means there wont be any cases…
We have seen one Thyroid, one Breast, one Ulcer this week.
Now wat remains is Mass Abdomen, Varicose Veins and Hernia…. Basically these are the six cases… seeing as many as possible in each is good. Lekin I wil be thankful if I even get to see one of the other three… not that we haven’t seen… we have seen many many mnay many cases of each of these in our 2nd and 4th year [I was in Salim Sir’s unit in 2nd year.. I cudn cut classes… and in 4th year I was in Unnithaan Sir’s unit- again I cudn cut classes] so newaz… the thing is that… we never realy examined them well.. only very halka phulka… and that wil not be sufficient this year..
And wais ebhi we have heard that Sukumaran Sir is movin out this year :( :( :( and the new HOD is gonna be Unnithan Sir and he is sooooo strict!!! :( :( :(

Now whatever….

Allah hafiz

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Hating Surgery

Hating Surgery...
Allah hafiz

Monday, October 5, 2009


I started with Surgery today.......
missing Dr. Legha ...... she treated us like her kids.............. :( :( :( :( :(
we r feelin homeless............. uske aage. I am not really in a mood to write.. waise toh... well i wont even write dat
Allah hafiz

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Percussion Notes... and a Jealous Heart :(


Am so jealous of the people who can get that LOUD DHAK DHAK sound while percussion... i get a feeble 'tic tic' and it makes no sense... it gets almost impossible to know if its dull, resonant, hyper resonant, or stony dull...
Most of the people in my unit are boys.. and they get that beautiful sound which makes me go grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr....
you shud hear it wen Advait does the percussion.... jaise he's beating on a dhol....
huh!!! the worst part is that though i hardly make any sound with my fingers.. they start paining by the time reach the third intercostals... another huh!!!

Allah hafiz

Saturday, September 12, 2009

My First Littmann :)

So finally I got my Littmann… :) :) :)

After four whole years as a medico, I finally bought my Littmann on 1st September, 2009.
This is a classic student’s edition and I got it at a discounted price of Rs.3800. actually, the price is something around 4500 and we get it at the same price in Alleppey, but then..Afzal told me to ask Davis since Davis had bought it from somewhere in Cochin. Davis gave me the address of this shop called Lakshmi Enterprises (he actually drew a rough map for me in my note book :p) and I found a shubh ghadi on the 1st and ran to buy it.
The thing is that most of the people get it from their relatives in the States… and mummy had told Jaanshah chacha to tell Guggi aunty to get one for me. But prolly he didn’t tell coz after that, Guggi aunty had visited India once and had come home.. but she didn’t mention anything bout the steth… then Anisa told ki she’s told her chacha to get for Amuda and me but he was to come only on November… and our Medicine posting ends by October 3rd. And sabse zyada use toh is obviously in Medicine na… toh that’s why I tokd her that I’ll buy it from here itself… Amu and I had decided to go together and buy..but it didn’t work out… coz’ she had gone home for Onam.. and I didn’t want to wait ……coz’ that wud mean goin to Ekm after clinics, and that wud be sooo tiring.. coz even without any extra work after clinics I sleep for three hours straight….
On top of that during Ramzaan, I didn’t really want to stress myself so much…
Isliye I went and got it on 1st.
There were five colours available- Black, Grey, Dark Green, Navy Blue and Red..(they had told that Burgundy is also available, but it wasn’t). I had decided earlier itself that I shall buy the blue one coz’ black toh sabke paas hota hai..
So well, I saw ki ya twas quite ok .. and I got it..
It was only later I noticed that “S” too has a navy blue Litt…:/ :/ :/ uuggghhh! “D” asked me if I didn’t get any colour… I told ki ‘naiiiiiiii.. I wanted to buy blue hi’….:/ :/ after that I noticed S ke steth ka colour and I was like shit yaar!!!
Ab khair!
Alhamdulillah, I’m so happy…
Actually I had started getting a complex coz I didn’t have a Litt… one day, sitting in the Duty H.S…. Arun P.V,,(yes, the future Chief Minister of Kerala :D) on seeing my ‘Pulse-Wave’ steth told ki even he has a Litt, even if it’s not his own, at least, he’s borrowed it from someone.. and I am still using something else…. I was so full of the ‘grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr’ wala feeling.. :D :D :D lolz…
And sachi mein… suddenly the whole world had Litt.. except a few gals like Amu, A.T, and me :) :) …
But that doesn’t mean that im goin to throw away my old steths.. after all they have been my saathi for the past 4 years.. sleeping soundly in my college bag among the boks and the umbrella and the purana pepsi ka bottle filled with ‘pink’ coloured water :)

My first steth was bought by abbu.. ‘Konica’- maybe 200 Rs ka.
And the second one, “Pulse” was given by Tabraiz bhaiya – that’s around 300 ka.

U sure can guess my happiness by the fact that I have written such a long post only on a steth…
:) :) :)

Long Live my Littu Darling

Allah hafiz

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Ramzaan Mubarak

Assalam alaykum

Ramzaan Mubarak to all :) :)

May Allah bless us all and help us to beat our senses this Ramzaan and forever..

Allah hafiz

Thursday, August 20, 2009

20 August'09

Don’t try to store things in books and laptops
Try saving them in ur head.
Mere khayal se usse zyada faayda hoga.
Allah hafiz