Sunday, February 15, 2009

I wish wasn't a bad bad gal :D

Have got ENT from tomorrow onwards…. Hmmmm… I flunked ENT in my first sessionals…. :( wasn’t really expecting it.. I mean.. the paper hadn’t been good.. but… ummm fir bhi… not fail types…to khair! Kal se I’ve got ENT and I remember having decided to start studying seriously from the beginning of my 7th sem.. lekin .. since I am a bad bad gal wen it comes to anything related to studies I have been postponing the ‘seriously padhna karyakram’ to the never-arriving-tomorrow….huh!!! the entire SPM posting is over and I haven’t studied a single word….crap yaar!! I haven’t even finished writing the record.. have been bringing Anu’s record for the past 1 week lekin I just can’t get myself to actually sit down and start copying….
I hate SPM….
Newaz….. I really do wish ki I do start learning the tricks of medicine now… coz otherwise am gonna have a bad bad screwing soon enuf… *uuggh*
God! Ppl are actually thinking of PG and stuff….
Am I interested in a PG?????????????? *hehehehehehehe*…. We rather not talk bout it! Or else my aapa will screw me!!! :D :D :D :D
But you know there’s this really sad part bout my not studying……
Actually 2 sad parts…

1st being the fact that I was my school topper… and here suddenly being a student who gets marks like “baal-baal-bachi” or “pass-hote-hote-reh-gayi” actually hurts….
Well, not that I want some miracle to happen ki hum padhe bhi nahi aur paper faadte rahe… lekin.. u know.. there’s this little pricky feeling I get!!!
I know I ain’t studying… not at all.. reading things once will be of no help in this vast damned cursed course… *hate*hate*hate*……….. par u know me na.. to bas fir rehne do!! :D :D :D :D
2nd is the part where ppl EXPECT… aaj hi shaam ko mummy was telling ki wen u return as a doc.. u will take care of me.. we wont need to stand in queues to see docs… *pang*pang*pang*
The times wen aapa and bhaiya ask me things .. any ‘doctor-stuff’ I mean…. And wen I don’t know-----not becoz it is something very hi-fi… but becoz “””I””” haven’t studied… either that or the fact ki my way of studying is also very exam oriented (I don’t mean the practically-exam-oriented.. I mean “padho-likho-bhoolo” types). So I know NOTHING.
Wen I go home, some ppl like ‘Akka’, our washerwoman; Ajmer bhaiya- whoz my aapa’s driver… and other such people , if u get wat I mean… say ki ‘aur kitna saal baaki hai kiran?’ and that they are lukin forward to my return so that I can treat them…
It hurts…. Hurts bad.. trust me!
Ummmmmmmm.. can I add another sad part???? Huh!!! whom am I asking? Of course, I can add!! :D :D
So the 3rd sad part to my not studying is that…………. I RRRRRRREEEEEEAAAALLLLLLLLYYYYY hate this course…. Not that I didn’t like biology.. I did !! vry much….
But i was more of a history baby….
I still remember how sad I was wen I had opted for the Science Stream after 10th….well… cudn really help it.. there are no ‘Humanities’ ke skuls back home… we only have Govt. skuls with aawara bachas in the ‘arts’ stream ke skuls….*ttcchh*ttcchh*ttcchh*
Khair ab wat to do? Jaane do! Even after my 12th I had tried a lot to move back to humanities…(which was of no effect coz of the gr8 “Aapa Anger Syndrome”) had applied for English in JNRM and my name was at the top of the list…. :D :D :D had 95% in English.. and no sane person who scores marks in 90s.. ever thinks of becoming an English teacher (let alone studying in JNRM :D).. well, at least not in a Territory where we get free seats to Medicine and Engineering… *blah*blah*blah*
(now, coming to think of it.. I was actually sad ki I got a 95 (only 95????????:( :( :( )in English---- hhihihi… who bhi kya zamaane the!!!!:D :D :D :D )
Ha to newaz.. I think I wandered from wat I actually wanted to write (that;s just so typically me…. Oh baby baby!!! Oops I did it again…..i played with ur heart.. got lost in the game.. oh baby baby!!!! :D :D :D )
To wat I mean is ki I really hate this course.. and I cant (however hard I try) imagine myself as a doc.. that’s just not me…
I rather be studying interior decoration…. And painting houses black and blue and brown.. or maybe teaching little angels (you have no idea……… HOW much love is crammed up in my heart for kids-------------I’m absolutely CRAZY bout kids)…and all this of course, IF and IF and IF I work.. coz’ if u ask me.. wat is the ONE wish I have in my life-it’s to be able to be a good mom!!! And then if u ask me wat other things dyu want form life? And I wud say – to be a gud wife, a gud daughter, a gud sister, a gud friend, and of course a gud sis/daughter-in-law……. Relations are the most important thing in my life.. prolly coz I had so few of them.. newaz… not a time to get senti…

And then don’t forget how badly I want to gain knowledge--------------- inshaAllah if I get married to a ‘shehzaada saleem’ (as mummy calls him! *blah*).. I’d only be at home… take care of my family and learn things.. I’d learn languages, and religion (am madly passionate bout religion!!!), craft (do I love craft?????????????????????? YAY! YAY! YAY! :D) etc.etc.etc
Lekin I know no such thing is gonna happen…….. I cant escape…..
Im caught up in this dead maze…. Which has no solution.. no way out….no whoever marries me, be it Azhar or neone else, marries me knowing ki ha this gal has an mbbs ka degree.. she’ll slog out her ass and get home bucks!!!... strange how the world runs.. isn’t it?????
Well, at least it’s better than Kerala… yaha par.. wat u r .. isn’t as imp as how much you pay to buy the groom….f*** the *sixers*…. You’d faint if I start telling the dowry these crank heads get from the gals………. God!!!! Save our souls!!!
So am into this mess… and unless Maalik wants it to happen… I wont be able to run anywhere from it…. Prolly I’ll be forced to take a PG even……..
I was a loser wen I tuk Science.. I was a loser again wen I tuk MBBS… I seriously don’t wanna be a loser again…. God give me the strength !!!
I don wanna waste my life at something I can never be…. 6 yrs have gone down the gutter (professionally I mean--- life is Alhamdulillah gr8)….i don wanna waste anymore yrs………
Gotto go
Allah hafiz

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Finally... I'm Back!!!!!!


writing after 3 and a half months.... very bad.. but kya kare????
this post is not really on any particular thing.. just to get me bak on trak... if i dont post now, i dont think i wil ever post again.. so.. lets start againn.. :D ok na?

hmm... 3 postings are over tab se ab tak.
First Sessional Exams (flunked ENT, cleared ophthalm, dont know SPM ka result :D)
and SPM
i cut the whole of Medicine and went home :D :D :D
because im a bad bad girl...
but then its ok...:D
everything's ok.
now very few months remain in the prefinal.... (isn't it scary to think that we already are in final MBBS part 1.... God!!!! i'm happy calling it prefinal...:D)

Dr.Lalita Ambika is planning to start PG coaching and many in our batch may join..
yes, you guessed it rite! i will not :D :D :D
coz im a bad bad girl :D :D :D
got lots of stuff to write...i'll try
seriously i will
now i understand why we dont see many bloggers in the medical community..
its coz this is a bloody sucker field. :(
Allah hafiz