Sunday, February 15, 2009

I wish wasn't a bad bad gal :D

Assalam
Have got ENT from tomorrow onwards…. Hmmmm… I flunked ENT in my first sessionals…. :( wasn’t really expecting it.. I mean.. the paper hadn’t been good.. but… ummm fir bhi… not fail types…to khair! Kal se I’ve got ENT and I remember having decided to start studying seriously from the beginning of my 7th sem.. lekin .. since I am a bad bad gal wen it comes to anything related to studies I have been postponing the ‘seriously padhna karyakram’ to the never-arriving-tomorrow….huh!!! the entire SPM posting is over and I haven’t studied a single word….crap yaar!! I haven’t even finished writing the record.. have been bringing Anu’s record for the past 1 week lekin I just can’t get myself to actually sit down and start copying….
I hate SPM….
HAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…… :( :( :( :( :(
Newaz….. I really do wish ki I do start learning the tricks of medicine now… coz otherwise am gonna have a bad bad screwing soon enuf… *uuggh*
God! Ppl are actually thinking of PG and stuff….
*blah*
Am I interested in a PG?????????????? *hehehehehehehe*…. We rather not talk bout it! Or else my aapa will screw me!!! :D :D :D :D
But you know there’s this really sad part bout my not studying……
Actually 2 sad parts…



1st being the fact that I was my school topper… and here suddenly being a student who gets marks like “baal-baal-bachi” or “pass-hote-hote-reh-gayi” actually hurts….
Well, not that I want some miracle to happen ki hum padhe bhi nahi aur paper faadte rahe… lekin.. u know.. there’s this little pricky feeling I get!!!
I know I ain’t studying… not at all.. reading things once will be of no help in this vast damned cursed course… *hate*hate*hate*……….. par u know me na.. to bas fir rehne do!! :D :D :D :D
2nd is the part where ppl EXPECT… aaj hi shaam ko mummy was telling ki wen u return as a doc.. u will take care of me.. we wont need to stand in queues to see docs… *pang*pang*pang*
The times wen aapa and bhaiya ask me things .. any ‘doctor-stuff’ I mean…. And wen I don’t know-----not becoz it is something very hi-fi… but becoz “””I””” haven’t studied… either that or the fact ki my way of studying is also very exam oriented (I don’t mean the practically-exam-oriented.. I mean “padho-likho-bhoolo” types). So I know NOTHING.
Wen I go home, some ppl like ‘Akka’, our washerwoman; Ajmer bhaiya- whoz my aapa’s driver… and other such people , if u get wat I mean… say ki ‘aur kitna saal baaki hai kiran?’ and that they are lukin forward to my return so that I can treat them…
*sob*sob*sob*
It hurts…. Hurts bad.. trust me!
Ummmmmmmm.. can I add another sad part???? Huh!!! whom am I asking? Of course, I can add!! :D :D
So the 3rd sad part to my not studying is that…………. I RRRRRRREEEEEEAAAALLLLLLLLYYYYY hate this course…. Not that I didn’t like biology.. I did !! vry much….
But i was more of a history baby….
I still remember how sad I was wen I had opted for the Science Stream after 10th….well… cudn really help it.. there are no ‘Humanities’ ke skuls back home… we only have Govt. skuls with aawara bachas in the ‘arts’ stream ke skuls….*ttcchh*ttcchh*ttcchh*
Khair ab wat to do? Jaane do! Even after my 12th I had tried a lot to move back to humanities…(which was of no effect coz of the gr8 “Aapa Anger Syndrome”) had applied for English in JNRM and my name was at the top of the list…. :D :D :D had 95% in English.. and no sane person who scores marks in 90s.. ever thinks of becoming an English teacher (let alone studying in JNRM :D).. well, at least not in a Territory where we get free seats to Medicine and Engineering… *blah*blah*blah*
(now, coming to think of it.. I was actually sad ki I got a 95 (only 95????????:( :( :( )in English---- hhihihi… who bhi kya zamaane the!!!!:D :D :D :D )
Ha to newaz.. I think I wandered from wat I actually wanted to write (that;s just so typically me…. Oh baby baby!!! Oops I did it again…..i played with ur heart.. got lost in the game.. oh baby baby!!!! :D :D :D )
To wat I mean is ki I really hate this course.. and I cant (however hard I try) imagine myself as a doc.. that’s just not me…
I rather be studying interior decoration…. And painting houses black and blue and brown.. or maybe teaching little angels (you have no idea……… HOW much love is crammed up in my heart for kids-------------I’m absolutely CRAZY bout kids)…and all this of course, IF and IF and IF I work.. coz’ if u ask me.. wat is the ONE wish I have in my life-it’s to be able to be a good mom!!! And then if u ask me wat other things dyu want form life? And I wud say – to be a gud wife, a gud daughter, a gud sister, a gud friend, and of course a gud sis/daughter-in-law……. Relations are the most important thing in my life.. prolly coz I had so few of them.. newaz… not a time to get senti…

And then don’t forget how badly I want to gain knowledge--------------- inshaAllah if I get married to a ‘shehzaada saleem’ (as mummy calls him! *blah*).. I’d only be at home… take care of my family and learn things.. I’d learn languages, and religion (am madly passionate bout religion!!!), craft (do I love craft?????????????????????? YAY! YAY! YAY! :D) etc.etc.etc
Lekin I know no such thing is gonna happen…….. I cant escape…..
Im caught up in this dead maze…. Which has no solution.. no way out….no whoever marries me, be it Azhar or neone else, marries me knowing ki ha this gal has an mbbs ka degree.. she’ll slog out her ass and get home bucks!!!... strange how the world runs.. isn’t it?????
Well, at least it’s better than Kerala… yaha par.. wat u r .. isn’t as imp as how much you pay to buy the groom….f*** the *sixers*…. You’d faint if I start telling the dowry these crank heads get from the gals………. God!!!! Save our souls!!!
Newaz…
So am into this mess… and unless Maalik wants it to happen… I wont be able to run anywhere from it…. Prolly I’ll be forced to take a PG even……..
I was a loser wen I tuk Science.. I was a loser again wen I tuk MBBS… I seriously don’t wanna be a loser again…. God give me the strength !!!
I don wanna waste my life at something I can never be…. 6 yrs have gone down the gutter (professionally I mean--- life is Alhamdulillah gr8)….i don wanna waste anymore yrs………
Newaz.
Gotto go
Allah hafiz



7 comments:

Vibhore Gupta said...

hey...
gr8 to see a post on this blog.. gosh i missed ur posts....
:)
:)

i'll dissect ur post in two parts...
the first part is a typical "jalpari speaking".... awesumly awsum...

lekin the second part is quite not " jalpari types"...
i dnt knw hw it goes at ur place.. lekin i dnt think the one u'll marry will put ur @ss on fire to bring bak bucks coz u've an MBBS degree... yaar freedom of choice sabke pass hoti hai...
if u ask me.. i think my "better half" (khatarnk pharse) wud hav evry rite to live out her dreams.. (as long as her dreams do not cross my moral and family values... bt i think tht's fair)...

khair.. m just me....

lekin haan padhne ka to mera bhi resolution tha... jo ki xtend ho raha hai.... ;)

bt bt bt.. xams r frm 28th....
bhagwaan bachaye.... :( :(

pleasure reading ur post again on this ur's long forgotten blog... :)

take care

JaLpArI said...

Hmmm vibhore,
you are very right. . . I should have my freedom. . . But, that is quite difficult in my case yaar. . . Coz most probably i will be gettin married to azhar. . . He is against quittin this profession. . .
and lets think ki arrange marriage ho. . . To even then my parents will have to tell the boy na ki wats my profession profession. Now even you know ki everyone has some criteria . . You know the matrimonial things. . So if someone marries me, does it after knowing ki am a doc. .

JaLpArI said...

After that if i change, to its kind of cheating. Unless ofcourse , he is too too too good. . .
the only other option would be ki i should finish off some other course, but then that would be really really long. . Newaz, all this only if azhar and i dont get married. . And lets hope that we do get married. He is quite adamant bout me Doing a decent job as a doc. And not waste my 6 years. Huh ! Mummy says it will not be a problem. . But i dont know. . . All i know is i cant be a doc :( :( :( :( boo hoo sob sob sniffle sniffle.

JaLpArI said...

After that if i change, to its kind of cheating. Unless ofcourse , he is too too too good. . .
the only other option would be ki i should finish off some other course, but then that would be really really long. . Newaz, all this only if azhar and i dont get married. . And lets hope that we do get married. He is quite adamant bout me Doing a decent job as a doc. And not waste my 6 years. Huh ! Mummy says it will not be a problem. . But i dont know. . . All i know is i cant be a doc :( :( :( :( boo hoo sob sob sniffle sniffle.

Vibhore Gupta said...

arry yaar wen i can becum an engg.. (matlab i kne i'll become ;) ;) )
thn u can surely becum a doc.... :) :)
ab khush ho jao....
waise i'll pray tht u shud gt married to azhar... :) :)
tk care...

Incognito said...

hi
there
u knw wht ....i was googling on the net for hating mbbs and came across ur post......have a got a similar situation here...am in final mbbs...part 2 and still yet to find my inkling of liking fr this damned syllabus...i'm also in it due to parental pressur coz both my parentz are docs...am in amu....dnt even knw y am osting ths comment....just dnt hw to get out of this freakkin course...thought of mba...but gota bust those harrisions and baileys b4 that so am in deep shit...newayz u got any info on ppl like us....do chime in....my id is incognito86@gmail.com

JaLpArI said...

@incognito
heyyyy.
am sorry dat u too r caught up in the mess brother!!!
well, as of now i haven come acros many like us... mmmmmm... in fact, ther's only this other guy in my class, Suneet.. he's plannin to do an mba.... not me newaz... will tel him to contact u...
tc.. and gud luk wid the course :)