Thursday, August 20, 2009


Life’s become really busy. Not just because there’s a lot to do but also because I am spending my time worrying bout how to do it all. You see.. I have this great ‘How’ problem in life… I don’t know ‘how’ to study. ‘how’ to manage time.
A month of Medicine is over and I am nowhere. I still don’t know anything.
The other day we had to submit our records and my format was wrong. Ma’am got so angry ki kya bataye. Obviously.. she then told me to re-write CNS and show her. I wrote the CNS and submitted the record yesterday. But, today she didn’t get time to discuss it wid me. I am so scared. I feel she’ll scold again coz even the other systems aren’t correct. I really hope she leaves it here and just tells me to do it properly from the next time onwards. I mean, c’mon… we have to submit 2 more cases this Monday. So, let me think of that. This thing is really troubling me. Newaz. Yesterday a microtopic was given “Cerebellum and its Connections” but none of us were there. Only S was there and he remembered bout it only at night 9.30 pm. He then called up and told me to do it. now actually it was P’s turn. dekha jaaye to I had missed my turn wen I had gone home, so I was supposed to do it wen I returned .. but that day the topic given was “Swine Flu” and I think M wanted to impress Ma’am and so he took the topic, then wen the next turn came for D.. he cudn take coz of some reason and so, P shud have done but M called me up and told me to do it. I think some kind of manipulation is going on. I don’t why I think so. Coz wen it was my turn to present the case to Ma’am, M did instead of me. Ok Ma’am had told but ideally, it shud be told to the person who’s presenting the case, but yaha waisa nahi kiya.pata nahi. Shayad im being paranoid.
Khair. The saving grace is that they are not my friends.
Agar hote jaise ki us dusre unit mein, toh mere ko bura lagta. I mean am feeling bad now too. Lekin at least, yeh log mere dost nahi hai na.
To theek hai.
Fir today, the microtopic wasn’t discussed, it’ll be done tomorrow. And guess wat tomorrow I have my symposium too… “Congential Hypothyroidism and Classification and Prevalence of Autoimmune Thyroidism”
And the grtst thing is that ab se har Friday mera hi turn aayega meaning I will always have both the microtopic and symposium together.
I am so scared pata hai.
I don’t have any idea how to study, how to go about things. How to start, how to move ahead.
I don’t know anything.
I feel so lost.
Allah hafiz.

No comments: