Certain days are soooo sad, you know. So sad matlab ufffff wala so sad.
I guess, am feeling so troubled just coz am trying so bad to go home at the earliest. I am seriously not the struggling types… I need to relax and just let things be… I mean possibly cant make me work for more than 18 days. I just hope lets me start from 20th itself…. And I also hope lets me do it in ambalapuzha instead of chettikadu. There is no airtel network there…. But agar doesn’t agree toh I wudnt have an option.
I am also pretty worried over my Triage posting. We are three Housies and that means we would have cycles of 24 hrs duty and 12 hours off.. which, I think, will be really hectic. And that is another reason why am so worked up… coz that is the time when I would really need time … for packing shacking and all that and all that… but, Newaz….. the only good part is that at the end, it will end.
Am also sad coz I will not be participating in the Convocation. I aint inviting my parents. And I have no wish to be there alone. I had thought of calling Azhar over. But, we both are not worth each other. So, that leaves me with two options-
1. Not attending the convo and feeling sad coz I wasn’t with my batch which, anyways, will forget me in a matter of days (i.e., if they remember me now).
2. Attending the convo all alone and looking at everybody with their families and feeling sad.
I think I should go for option 1.
I do realize that I am lucky that I HAVE a family. There might be so many in this world who don’t have a family at all. There are orphans doing graduation and for their convo they might invite their uncles and aunties, which is cool in itself, but still, somewhere deep in their hearts, they might, just MIGHT, wish their parents were with them. My mummy was an orphan. She had a big family and stuff, but, still.. she was an orphan…. If she had parents, I don’t think they would have got her married to someone from a jungle,…..from Calcutta to Port Blair.
So, I mean ki I am doing all this naatak just coz I have someone to call Mummy and someone to call Abbu.
Maybe, I don’t know.
They are ready to come, btw. But I really don’t think it is worth it. I mean if we keep a minimum of RS. 10,000 from Port Blair to Alleppey, it makes Rs. 40,000 for my parents’ to and fro tickets plus the stay and food. Let’s add another Rs. 10,000 to it.
I really do not think that we should be spending 50 grands to get my old parents to travel (something they never do) only to hear Malayalam speeches and sit like statues throughout the function, coz they don’t speak Malayalam and will not be able to converse with others’ parents, and eat do dana from the grand (hopefully) dinner and retire to the hotel room coz by then the Y chromosomes will have started their talli dance.
To be noted here is that I will have to take leave if my parents come over and that would only mean more days with God’s countrymen, something am not really looking forward to. Then there can come the twist in the tale where my parents, instead of returning home like sane-headed people, can get all senti bout me having to do all the shifting thing alone and decide to stay back in the Country that God is accused to belong to, and that would mean me going and staying with them in the hotel room in the evenings… something that will only hamper the packing and shifting process. Not to mention, the expenses of staying in hotels. And I also don’t know what on earth would they do the whole day.
The other thing, of course, is that they can happily return home the next day. That would mean 50 grands for 2 days. :) :) wow!! I wish I was that rich.
But I am not :x :x :x :x
So the people who are telling me to spend such a lot of money to “experience the joy of getting the DEGREE (without even completing the course!!!!) in front of my parents” ….. when all they have to do is spend a few hundred rupees for filling their vandis’ tanks with petrol and maybe a little more to buy Moov for local application on the arms of their fathers/brothers/whoever after the long-drive-ache … should….. rather SHUT UP and help their mothers decide which saree to wear for their “Once in a lifetime” moment.
I am sad enough for not attending the convo… don’t make me sadder.
I also know that I spend a lot otherwise, but sorry to say that I don’t spend money to buy Malayalam CDs and I don’t spend money to go to, say Mata Amrita’s sermons…… I spend money over things that I like…. And the whole idea of making my family feel lonely is NOT SOMETHING I LIKE.
The only thing that can make me go the convo is my “Antar-atma” (since I am a Sonia fan, I always listen to my antar-atma) that wants to take the Oath with my batchmates.
Newaz.... my life is ruled by impulse, maybe the sudden urge of wearing the kala topi and kala coat may make me jump into the convo.. never know!! am a Sag :P
Oh!!! Am I desp!!!
I was sad sadder saddest.. and wasn’t going for the convo video shoot either…. But fir my “Antar-atma” took over and I went and naatakofied and happily returned with 2 papers full of non-sense that I wrote during the ‘exam scene shoot’. :p
Another thing that I ain’t likin is that some part of the stuff I wrote for the batch-slambook was in Hindi, which didn’t understand and I had told him to ask me before publishing, not once but many times, but he goes on saying that he will.. surely towards the end, he wudn’t be able to and that is really irritating coz I have been telling him for so long. I finally told him to skip me. But uske liye bhi woh raazi nahi.
This is it.
Lots of blahs!!!
And the next blah would be the blah I wrote in those two sheets of paper :)